“YOU CAN’T LEARN THAT WHICH YOU THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW” – Epictetus
In my April newsletter I wrote about late bloomers; the late blooming tulips and my own late blooming self. Now it is Autumn and on a recent hike I looked up and noticed that among the barren branches of trees, there were clusters of other trees with brown leaves still attached and some trees with their leaves still green as if it were still the height of summer. While most deciduous trees drop their leaves in the fall, several species exhibit marcescence, the condition of holding onto dead leaves through winter months. It is primarily the oak and beech trees that tend to hold onto their leaves until the new growth of spring makes it necessary for them to finally shed. It is often young trees that experience marcescence and there is a theory that holding leaves until spring is a way for these smaller trees to recapture nitrogen during active growth periods. If the leaves dropped in the fall, the nitrogen released through the winter decomposition might get sucked up by the larger trees. It seems perhaps that this holding on is related to self -preservation of sorts.
I think of how often our human species can hold onto old ideas or patterns because they are familiar and feel safe and predictable, despite them not serving us well or even being harmful in how they can stagnate our growth. This holding onto the things that might best be released can often be unconscious and based in survival skills we learned perhaps many years ago. Until we recognize and name how these dead leaves are no longer protecting us, but rather are harming us or holding us back from growth, we cannot make space for the green of new spring growth. Perhaps our younger selves, like the younger trees, needed some protection and held onto ways of being that we are now ready to shed and learn from.
This reminds me of a Zen Story: A Cup of Tea. A University professor went to visit a well-respected Zen master to learn about Zen. The Master first invited him to sit down for a cup of tea. The professor sat down and started talking about Zen while the Master quietly prepared and poured the tea. When the tea was filled to the cup’s brim, he kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until the Professor could no longer stay quiet and said “ It’s full! No more will go in!” The Zen Master responded, “The same with your mind. How can I teach you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”
Indeed, we are not able to allow new information in or experience new ways of being when we are already full of knowledge/ old ideas that may not be accurate. Even if we think we are “right” about who we are and what we need, if we are not willing to empty our minds of preconceived thoughts and opinions (about ourselves and the world around us), it is difficult to allow in new information and perspectives. This beginner mind of new green growth can allow us more flexibility and ease as we navigate our personal challenges and new beginnings.
As Epictetus once said: “YOU CAN’T LEARN THAT WHICH YOU THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW”
So, in this season of shedding our leaves, or perhaps of holding on for just a little bit longer, let us begin the next breath with an exhale so that we may be receptive of what is yet to come.
Here is a favorite practice of mine. It is equally profound and simple and a powerful tool for helping to invite stillness and spaciousness into our bodies and minds. The audio recording of standing like a tree is recorded by my beloved and talented Qi Gong teacher Lorelei Chang . She and I will be offering a Qi Gong and yoga retreat at the Himalayan Retreat center in Honesdale PA from 1/10/25-1/12/25. Information and registration are below! It will be a beautiful and rich weekend of shared community and practices to help us feel grounded and nourished as we enter the new year.
Standing like a tree practice: Zhan Zhuang
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