Age is Just a Number

I remember counting the rings found in tree trunks when I would take walks in the woods as a child. Sometimes there were so many rings I would lose count and marvel at the ancient stump before me and try to visualize the tree in her alive form, towering above the forest floor. Each new ring is a new layer of cells. Light colored rings indicate wood that grew in the spring and early summer while dark rings tell the story of wood that grew in the late summer and fall. The width of the rings are related to growing conditions, and studying the rings can help us to understand how the climate and environment has changed over time. Some rings indicate a rainy season or a dry spell while others are scars from forest fires.

How do humans mark our years of drought and loss, of abundance and good health, our traumas and our joys? How do we count our years, other than with birthday celebrations or marks on the wall to indicate growth spurts as children grow up? In younger years, getting older is often a celebration, something we are growing INTO as our lives expand with new opportunities. As we enter into middle age and beyond, we may notice ourselves counting lines on our faces, or experiencing pain in our aging body. Aging can sometimes be experienced as a contraction and a shrinking AWAY from the fullness of life.

When working with clients in the aging process in my therapy and yoga practices, people often talk about their aging bodies as the beginning of some sort of decline, the beginning of an ending of sorts. I am interested in exploring the aging process with curiosity, and as an opportunity to grow into a new phase of life vs entering a decline and a sense of decay. Tree rings are also known as Growth Rings. How can we measure our continued growth as we age?

One way might be to live in a way that honors our aging journey with compassion instead of judgement, and to make conscious choices in daily life that help to leave the earth in a healthier and more resilient state so that future generations may thrive.

It turns out that our ideas about aging , both conscious and unconscious, shape how we age. The brain, mind and body connection is apparent here. If we internalize an inner ageist with negative views and stereotypes of what “old age” looks and feels like, we can become our own target. In her book, The Inner Work of Age, Connie Zweig, PhD says “Living as a target of ageist projection affects our self-image, general health, brain health and behavior in a dynamic process that takes place across our lifespan.” So when we believe that becoming old makes us useless, worthless, unattractive or inferior to youth and thus headed into decline and suffering, then we behave accordingly. We may lose a sense of purpose and meaning in the process. On the other hand, when we reject negative messages about aging, we can experience and shape later life differently, and embrace it as a time for continuing our emotional and spiritual growth, and what we may leave for future generations.

Let’s look again to nature for inspiration. When a tree falls in a forest, it can become a “Nurse Log”, a fallen and decaying tree that will serve as the growing site for young plants and other organisms, and often as a germination site for a future generation of new trees. The influence of Nurse Logs continues for centuries after they rot away.

• What will your legacy be as you age? More slowness? More intentional rest?
• How can you continue to support others in the human world and in the other than human world as you age?